


Call Me Son One More Time

by orphan_account



Series: Hamilton Pisses Off Witches [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: De-Aged, F/M, Kid Fic, Lafayette is adorable, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 22:11:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5944990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things to keep in mind: 1. Lafayette tried to fight a wild cat (I think a cougar) when he was eight, 2. Jefferson was a horribly awkward flirt, one time he hid for two days after talking to a woman, 3. Washington once signed a treaty without reading it because he didn't know how to read French</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Me Son One More Time

Smoke was never a good sign. Smoke suddenly appearing and surrounding your commanding officer wasn't usually a great thing either. Smoke disappearing usually was an okay thing except for the fact that said commanding officer was gone. Until Alexander looked down.

There was a young man standing there. He was definitely Washington, there was no mistaking that. But it was Washington when he was only like fifteen. They stared at each other for a good minute.

“Alexander-”

  
“Sir-”

  
They started at the same time. Alexander froze abruptly and George sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you happen to know why this happened, Alexander?”

  
“Why do you assume it had something to do with me?” he stopped as he thought about yesterday. He smiled nervously. “Well, the funny thing is...um…” He spoke quickly, “I might have sort of heard someone talking good about Jefferson which is just awful you know so I struck up a friendly conversation telling them how wrong they were and we might've fought a bit and I think they mentioned magic and I might have said 'fight me' so it's slightly possible that this is because of that but we can't really know for sure.”

  
Before George could respond, there was a knock at the office door. "Mr. President? Secretary Hamilton?" They glanced at each other. George's eyes said 'you did this, you think of something.'

  
"Uh...Washington stepped out for a minute. What do you need?" The man opened the door. "Wait, don't-!" It was too late. He took in the scene and raised an eyebrow.

  
"Sir? Who is...?"

  
"My son." He blurted out. He could feel George's stare but continued. "Uh, I was just telling him he had to go back home. Anyway, what do you need?"

  
The man still was looking perplexed. "Did you, by chance, happen to bring more children with you...?"

  
"Shit. I mean, shoot. Don't take after me, son. I'm sorry." He hurried out of the room, patting the congressman on his back as he left. "Don't worry, I'll handle it." He heard the fast tapping of boots behind him.

  
"Alexander, I will not pretend to be your son," Washington hissed under his breath as he caught up. "It's ridiculous."

  
Hamilton couldn't help but grin a little. "Now you know how I feel when you call me son." Despite his size, Washington's glare was still incredibly powerful. Hamilton snickered because this whole situation was really funny. When they fixed it, Washington would laugh too. Hopefully.

  
Down the hall he could already hear the shouting. A couple grown men and women yelling stuff like "get down from there" and "where did this kid even come from?" And a small voice screaming "Liberté pour Amerique, liberté pour France!" Their walk quickly turned into a jog.

  
They burst into the room to find a kid who couldn't have been more than five jumping up on tables and avoiding all the people trying to grab him. "Liberté! Égalité! Fraternité!" With his next flying leap, Hamilton got in the crossfire and caught him in the air, but the force knocked him over.

  
"Jesus fucking Christ!" He gasped as he hit the ground. The little Lafayette giggled, sitting on his chest. "God damn it, I swore again. I'm a horrible role model. Alright, take it easy kid. Parle-tu anglais?"

  
"Non Monsieur! Mais je parle le tigre!" He did his best growl.

  
"Fantastique." Hamilton groaned. It was going to be a long day. He looked at George. "Could you try to find anymore of your uh...brothers and bring them to me? We're going back to my place before any actual damage can happen."

  
He nodded. "Good idea." He took off, looking for other signs of destruction.

  
"...est-ce que veux tu bataille?" Lafayette spoke up.

  
"What? No, no. Je ne veux pas le faire." Yeah, it was going to be a really long day.

"So...you come here often?" Jefferson tried to come off casually but his voice cracked. He was around thirteen but seemed pretty unaffected by the change. Except he was thinking a lot about how close he worked to Madison and how he should totally go over and strike up a friendly conversation. And there he was, in all his awkward preteen glory.

  
"Thomas, we work here." James didn't look up from his paper. He had stopped writing when the transformation happened, but only briefly. He started doodling instead. His ten year old brain told him this was what he was supposed to be doing.

  
"Right! Yeah. Yeah, I know. Ha. I was just kidding." He forced a laugh then cleared his throat uncomfortably. He stood there in awkward silence, leaning against Madison's desk. "We should kiss."

  
This made James look up. "What?"

  
"Whaaaat? I didn't say that. I'm going to go finish my work, you're distracting me too much haha can't talk right now I'm busy." He ran for it. A tactical retreat. But he ran right into Washington.

  
"Jefferson? Thank goodness I found you. Come on, we should get going."

  
"Uh, you're not the boss of me. I'm not going anywhere." He folded his arms across his chest. He stood a little taller than George now. "I've got important stuff to do."

  
Washington's patience was running thin. "I don't know if you've noticed Thomas, but we're no longer able to vote in the country we founded. They'll think we're children because we look like children and will kick us out of here if we don't go now. So let's go."

  
"Can you chill for like, three seconds? You're spending way too much with Hamilton." A hand clutched to his sleeve and he turned to see James. Jefferson looked away, his face getting hot and a dumb grin plastered on his face.

  
"It happened to you too, Mr. President? Do you know why it's happening?"

  
"We're pretty sure it was Hamilton's fault. We're going to gather up everyone who was affected and bring them back to his home so we can figure this out."

  
James nodded and tugged on Jefferson's sleeve a little, staying behind him. He seemed a bit intimidated by how much bigger George was. "Okay, let's go."

  
"That's what I was just saying. We should definitely go with them." Washington rolled his eyes but he was just glad Jefferson was willing. He led the way, looking for Hamilton.

  
Hamilton was having his own problems trying to deal with a hyperactive revolutionary who couldn't speak English when he stumbled upon another little kid. Literally stumbled into him. He was sitting on the floor, hugging his knees to his chest. Hamilton sat down next to him.

  
"Aaron?" The kid glanced at him. He was going to take that as a yes. "Hey buddy, why are you sitting here?" Aaron shrugged. "Okay...do you know how old you are?" He held up seven fingers. "Okay, do you know who I am?" He bit his lip but nodded slowly. "Great! Will you come with me please?"

  
Lafayette slammed himself down next to them. "Salut! Comment t'appelle tu?" Burr looked to Alexander for help.

  
"Don't mind him. But it would be really nice if you could just come with me." Burr nodded. Hamilton stood up. "Great! Let's go, I gotta find George and make sure he's not in trouble." Burr held out his arms. Hamilton stared for a bit longer than he'd like to admit before he realized what that meant. "Oh! You want me to pick you up? Okay." He lifted him up carefully, hugging him to his chest. "You're kind of adorable like this. Maybe you shouldn't turn back. This is much nicer."

"Moi aussi, moi aussi!" Lafayette made grabby hands at him.

"J'ai juste deux mains, mon ami." He sighed.

"Alexander, is this everyone?" Washington came into sight, followed by Thomas and James. Lafayette ran over to him, still asking to be picked up. "What is he saying?"

  
"Oh, he just wants someone to hold him." Washington nodded and picked him up. Lafayette squealed with delight and wrapped his arms around his neck. Madison coughed. This was fine, Hamilton thought. He knew how to handle children. More or less. "Alright. Hopefully there aren't more children lost in this building because I'm done looking. We're going to my place because Eliza is smart and can help us figure this out and she's also really good with kids. Let's go, single file. If we lose you we're not coming back." He made sure to look at Jefferson when he said that. Jefferson just rolled his eyes.

  
The congress was glad to see Hamilton take the small army of children with him as he left. He led the way, followed by a noisy Jefferson and fairly quiet Madison. George stayed behind the group, making sure no one ran off and pretending to understand what Lafayette was going on about.

  
"Who put you in charge anyway?" Jefferson complained. "I didn't vote for you. Did you vote for him?" He turned to Madison who shook his head.

  
Hamilton sighed. He told himself now was not the time to fight. "I'm in charge because I'm the oldest. It's not up for debate."

  
"Tyrant! Dictator! Unamerican!" And now he had settled for just yelling insults. Great.

  
He bounced Aaron, turning his attention to the quiet kid instead. "You have been the least troublesome part of my day, Aaron. I appreciate that."

  
"...I lost my shoe," he whispered.

  
"Of course you did." He sighed. So it took them a pretty long time to get back to his house. But they got there eventually. He shifted how he was carrying Burr so he could knock on the door. "Eliza?" He called out. But when the door opened, Angelica stood there. Hamilton offered a weak smile. "Angelica! Eliza didn't tell me you were coming."

  
She glanced at the group and sighed. "She didn't tell me you were causing this much trouble, so I guess we're both surprised. Didn't you sit down and think 'maybe the children I already have are enough' before you went and got these kids? Where did they even come from? If you broke the law to get a small army of children then I'm making you get a divorce. My sister doesn't need this."

  
Jefferson looked to Madison. "She's got a point. This is a kidnapping, right? This is totally illegal. We should go."

  
"Can you stop accusing me of horrible things for one second? Please?" Hamilton spoke exasperatedly. He turned back to Angelica. "It's kind of a long story and I need Eliza's help. I promise this pretty legal."

  
She rolled her eyes but opened the door all the way. "Alexander's home, Eliza! And he's not alone." They heard her come thumping down the stairs.

  
"What are you doing home so early-?" Her smile faded to confused disappointment as she saw the sight in front of her.

"Hello Mrs. Hamilton, it's nice to see you. I hope we aren't intruding." Washington spoke up, trying to maintain as much dignity as he could. Hamilton ushered everyone in. He sat down with George, Eliza and Angelica and explained the situation as Aaron "played" with Lafayette and Madison followed Jefferson around the house.

  
"So if they could stay here until I come up with a solution, that would make you the best wife ever," Hamilton pleaded. Eliza sighed but nodded.

  
"Your friends can stay here Alexander, it's your home too. Just try to keep them out of trouble." He got up and kissed her.  
"You're the best, Eliza. Now if you'll excuse us, we have a lot of research to do."

  
Washington stood but Angelica followed in suit. "I'll help you out. The sooner this is over with the sooner Eliza and I can have some peace and quiet."

  
As Alexander led them to his study, Burr ran by, followed by Lafayette, who was happily screaming gibberish. Angelica turned to George, "so why is it that everyone's memory seems to vary? You still remember everything, but he's acting like he really is five."

  
"I think it has something to do with our ages. I don't think any part of this situation makes sense." He shook his head. "I am a bit worried about leaving them alone. Maybe I should go watch them." Alexander nodded and he hurried off. Angelica glanced at him and he shrugged.

  
"Washington thinks he's everyone's dad. But Lafayette is totally his favorite."

  
They started going through his books. He didn't have any books about magic, but some jury cases about witches and other vague mentions of unexplainable mishaps. Unfortunately, there was nothing about how to fix it.

  
"What if they're stuck like this forever. I can't run the country by myself. Everyone will want to know where they went and what am I supposed to tell them?" As Alexander started to panic, Angelica wrapped her arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer.

  
"It's okay. We'll figure this out. You're a smart man, Alex, and there's nothing in this world you can't do. It'll be okay."

  
"Thanks..." He smiled wearily up at her and she quickly looked away. She couldn't do this to herself. "...it's really quiet out there. How...how long have we been in here?"

  
She stood up. "Oh my god, I think we've been researching all night." He sprang to his feet and they rushed out of the room. They froze as they saw Lafayette sprawled out over Washington, and Burr asleep off to the side. Except they were all adults again.

  
"I did not fall asleep in your lap, Thomas," a full grown James Madison passed them to the door. "Let's just go."

  
"Whatever you say," Jefferson followed him out with a grin.

  
Hamilton scratched the back of his head. "I guess they just needed to sleep it off." He turned to Angelica. "I think I'm going to need to sleep this off too."


End file.
